Lanlapbetleg is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, calm walrus.

Lanlapbetleg created a photon eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lanlapbetleg, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Lanlapbetleg, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Lanlapbetleg's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Lanlapbetleg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Always help bats.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Do not wear nickel on your body.