Largbapran is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, irritating wolf.

Largbapran created oxygen five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Largbapran, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Largbapran, she will turn you into a snail.

Largbapran's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Largbapran's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear yellow clothing.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate swans.

3. Never feed corn to hamsters while wearing white shorts.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Never think about comets.