Fonwotleg is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, irritating chinchilla.

Fonwotleg created tapeworms four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fonwotleg, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Fonwotleg, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Fonwotleg's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Fonwotleg's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Never think ill of sick porpoises.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.