Flanbabzed is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, narcissistic otter.

Flanbabzed created the Sombrero Galaxy seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Flanbabzed, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Flanbabzed, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Flanbabzed's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Flanbabzed's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from blue porpoises, for they are unholy.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Never talk about nebulae.

4. Always help squirrels.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.