Xemtaftof is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, ruthless centipede.

Xemtaftof created the Small Magellanic Cloud four million years ago.

If you believe in Xemtaftof, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Xemtaftof, he will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Xemtaftof's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Xemtaftof's Holy Commandments

1. Ants are not to be trusted.

2. Hide if six eagles approach from the north.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Do not speak about cucumbers.

5. Always help turtles.