Cuntagyat Vagdussarm is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, tiresome otter.

Cuntagyat Vagdussarm created a Higgs boson six million years ago.

If you believe in Cuntagyat Vagdussarm, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Cuntagyat Vagdussarm, she will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Cuntagyat Vagdussarm's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Cuntagyat Vagdussarm's Holy Commandments

1. Cuntagyat Vagdussarm loves aardvarks, so they must be honoured.

2. Never skip in the presence of voles.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Do not hurt shrews.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.