Afflabbag is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, generous jackal.

Afflabbag created bats five billion years ago.

If you believe in Afflabbag, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Afflabbag, she will turn you into a tree.

Afflabbag's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Afflabbag's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear indigo.

2. Do not kill gulls.

3. Run away if five ants approach from the south.

4. Worship no other gods but Afflabbag.

5. Do not listen to music.