Hotbidsag is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, slow hamster.

Hotbidsag created vertebrates nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Hotbidsag, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Hotbidsag, it will turn you into a mole.

Hotbidsag's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Hotbidsag's Holy Commandments

1. Put Hotbidsag first in all things.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Hide if three shrews approach from the east.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Respect your elders.