Legkemtap is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, overgenerous hummingbird.

Legkemtap created energy five million years ago.

If you believe in Legkemtap, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Legkemtap, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Legkemtap's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Legkemtap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your arms.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Put Legkemtap first in all things.

4. Never go into violet rooms.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Legkemtap.