Quillyakfab is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, omnipotent grasshopper.

Quillyakfab created water three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quillyakfab, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Quillyakfab, he will turn you into a snail.

Quillyakfab's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Quillyakfab's Holy Commandments

1. Goats are not to be trusted.

2. Quillyakfab loves turtles, so they must be respected.

3. Do not wear nickel on your body.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.