Mutsigjip is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, weak lion.

Mutsigjip created the planet Venus seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Mutsigjip, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Mutsigjip, she will turn you into a mouse.

Mutsigjip's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Mutsigjip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your head.

2. Never write about amino acids.

3. Never wear shirts.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Mutsigjip.

5. Always help turtles.