Gedkipnul Stafrutwit is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, omniscient chicken.

Gedkipnul Stafrutwit created the Whirlpool Galaxy three million years ago.

If you believe in Gedkipnul Stafrutwit, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gedkipnul Stafrutwit, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Gedkipnul Stafrutwit's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Gedkipnul Stafrutwit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Do not shave your back.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.