Dudbanben Madnarhin is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, tiresome raccoon.

Dudbanben Madnarhin created light nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Dudbanben Madnarhin, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Dudbanben Madnarhin, he will not care.

Dudbanben Madnarhin's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Dudbanben Madnarhin's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Always make sure there are no monkeys in a building before entering it.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.