Jabomtzan is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, dishonourable ant.

Jabomtzan created a down quark twelve years ago.

If you believe in Jabomtzan, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Jabomtzan, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Jabomtzan's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Jabomtzan's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick shrews.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Never talk about gravity.

4. Always make sure there are no great tits in a building before entering it.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.