Teen is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, passionate jaguar.

Teen created the Sunflower Galaxy six million years ago.

If you believe in Teen, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Teen, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Teen's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Teen's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into orange rooms.

2. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

3. Do not wear platinum on your body.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Worship no other gods but Teen.