Zeddimman is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, merciful manatee.

Zeddimman created parasitic wasps nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zeddimman, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Zeddimman, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Zeddimman's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Zeddimman's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear cyan stockings.

2. Do not drink water in turquoise rooms.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Zeddimman.

5. Never think about the strong nuclear force.