Bifzodfed is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, irritating rat.

Bifzodfed created bats five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bifzodfed, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Bifzodfed, it will laugh at you.

Bifzodfed's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Bifzodfed's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Do not kill sharks.

3. Never write about stars.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Do not drink alcohol.