Stipvonkren is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, competent crab.

Stipvonkren created everything that exists eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Stipvonkren, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Stipvonkren, he will not care at all.

Stipvonkren's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Stipvonkren's Holy Commandments

1. Doves are not to be trusted.

2. Never look at planets.

3. Always help horses.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Stipvonkren.

5. Never think about gravity.