Maphanhit is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, irritating grasshopper.

Maphanhit created parasitic wasps two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Maphanhit, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Maphanhit, she will attempt to scare you with hail.

Maphanhit's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Maphanhit's Holy Commandments

1. Never jump in holy places.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

5. Maphanhit loves snakes, so they must be respected.