Bifartbit is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, calm seal.

Bifartbit created the Tadpole Galaxy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Bifartbit, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Bifartbit, she will jump up and down on your head.

Bifartbit's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Bifartbit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt tapirs.

2. Do not take Bifartbit's name in vain.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Never go into white rooms.

5. Fast once a month.