Tiningfunfotfadhin is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, prudent hummingbird.

Tiningfunfotfadhin created time and space four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tiningfunfotfadhin, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Tiningfunfotfadhin, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Tiningfunfotfadhin's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Tiningfunfotfadhin's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from fawn sheep, for they are unholy.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Hide if eight ants approach from the west.

5. Run away if nine doves approach from the south.