Langatvonk is a god.

It takes the form of a large, dishonest bee.

Langatvonk created the Large Magellanic Cloud four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Langatvonk, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Langatvonk, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Langatvonk's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Langatvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Whales are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Langatvonk.

3. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

4. Never jump near sharks.

5. Always help sick rats.