Dobpanbif is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, prudent wombat.

Dobpanbif created energy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Dobpanbif, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Dobpanbif, it will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Dobpanbif's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Dobpanbif's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Never go into purple rooms.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Dobpanbif.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Never hurt sharks.