Hoggilsand is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, humane swallow.

Hoggilsand created the planet Mars two billion years ago.

If you believe in Hoggilsand, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Hoggilsand, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Hoggilsand's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Hoggilsand's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Hoggilsand eight times a day.

2. Always look after injured goats.

3. Hoggilsand loves birds, so they must be respected.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Do not commit murder.