Fembitmeg is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, caring wyrm.

Fembitmeg created Africa five million years ago.

If you believe in Fembitmeg, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Fembitmeg, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Fembitmeg's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Fembitmeg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat lentils.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Do not dye your hair turquoise.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate manatees.

5. Fembitmeg loves pigs, so they must be honoured.