Matpittabsin is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, awesome dolphin.

Matpittabsin created Africa eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Matpittabsin, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Matpittabsin, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Matpittabsin's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Matpittabsin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Worship no other gods but Matpittabsin.

3. Do not hurt tapirs.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Always make sure there are no gulls in a building before entering it.