Lakbat is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, strong beaver.

Lakbat created a strange quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lakbat, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Lakbat, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Lakbat's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Lakbat's Holy Commandments

1. Erect eight iron sculptures of Lakbat on top of important buildings.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.