Quamfitvil is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, proud goat.

Quamfitvil created Africa twelve years ago.

If you believe in Quamfitvil, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Quamfitvil, she will turn you into a dog.

Quamfitvil's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Quamfitvil's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

2. Do not speak about lemons.

3. Never look at asteroids.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Do not chop down trees.