Xemcisshud is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, staggering hummingbird.

Xemcisshud created the planet Mars four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Xemcisshud, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Xemcisshud, he will turn you into a dog.

Xemcisshud's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Xemcisshud's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Never eat oranges.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Xemcisshud.

4. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

5. Never pour water over plants.