Matarfsog is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, selfish beaver.

Matarfsog created Europe two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Matarfsog, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Matarfsog, it will ignore you.

Matarfsog's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Matarfsog's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about gravity.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Never feed turnips to shrews while wearing black rings.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.