Tinquartdum is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, charitable wolf.

Tinquartdum created dark energy two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tinquartdum, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Tinquartdum, it will send minions to preach to you.

Tinquartdum's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Tinquartdum's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about stars.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Always obey Tinquartdum's priests.

4. Do not wear aluminium on your body.

5. Hide if nine aardvarks approach from the north.