Matlikciss is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, loving mouse.

Matlikciss created Europe eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Matlikciss, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Matlikciss, she will turn you into a goat.

Matlikciss' most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Matlikciss' Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Never sing near pigs.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.