Gemwannardot is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, emotional wren.

Gemwannardot created a Higgs boson three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gemwannardot, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Gemwannardot, he will boil you in a big pot.

Gemwannardot's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Gemwannardot's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if three grasshopers approach from the west.

2. Feed all hungry mice.

3. Always help sick snails.

4. Do not sit in public.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.