Rutdidmid is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, tranquil pig.

Rutdidmid created the planet Mars two years ago.

If you believe in Rutdidmid, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Rutdidmid, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Rutdidmid's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Rutdidmid's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate porpoises.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.