Ripsawyatzog is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, omnipotent fairy.

Ripsawyatzog created dark matter seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Ripsawyatzog, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Ripsawyatzog, she will think nothing of it.

Ripsawyatzog's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Ripsawyatzog's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate cats.

2. Always obey Ripsawyatzog's priests.

3. Do not dye your hair black.

4. Erect six titanium sculptures of Ripsawyatzog on top of important buildings.

5. Never look in ponds.