Sanfonnurttafban Quathappodbinbom is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, cheerful gerbil.

Sanfonnurttafban Quathappodbinbom created a Higgs boson two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sanfonnurttafban Quathappodbinbom, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Sanfonnurttafban Quathappodbinbom, it will torture you forever.

Sanfonnurttafban Quathappodbinbom's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Sanfonnurttafban Quathappodbinbom's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Always help grasshopers.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.