Latflabwigbot is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, selfish wombat.

Latflabwigbot created the planet Earth two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Latflabwigbot, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Latflabwigbot, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Latflabwigbot's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Latflabwigbot's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into purple rooms.

2. Tortoises are not to be trusted.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Hide if three moths approach from the north.

5. Always help sick whales.