Nilgovmadkanpidbonmat is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, grumpy capybara.

Nilgovmadkanpidbonmat created time and space eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nilgovmadkanpidbonmat, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Nilgovmadkanpidbonmat, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Nilgovmadkanpidbonmat's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Nilgovmadkanpidbonmat's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Never wear rings.