Flisquagjan is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, blissful alligator.

Flisquagjan created a top quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flisquagjan, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Flisquagjan, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Flisquagjan's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Flisquagjan's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed onions to shrews while wearing green rings.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate mites.

3. Never jump near hamsters.

4. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

5. Run away from gray turtles, for they are unholy.