Hotjabbep is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, slow crocodile.

Hotjabbep created the Cigar Galaxy three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hotjabbep, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Hotjabbep, she will not care at all.

Hotjabbep's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Hotjabbep's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. You must never eat bananas.

3. Never think about amino acids.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Do not make images of living things.