Kabkemcid is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, grumpy otter.

Kabkemcid created humankind four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kabkemcid, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Kabkemcid, she will torture you forever.

Kabkemcid's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Kabkemcid's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry rats.

2. Never go into indigo rooms.

3. Always obey Kabkemcid's priests.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Never mention swans.