Camnuttzim Safjoppid is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, wise fish.

Camnuttzim Safjoppid created snails six billion years ago.

If you believe in Camnuttzim Safjoppid, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Camnuttzim Safjoppid, she will turn you into a hamster.

Camnuttzim Safjoppid's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Camnuttzim Safjoppid's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear cyan.

2. Erect a large silver sculpture of Camnuttzim Safjoppid on top of all buildings.

3. Never feed strawberries to swans while wearing gray corsets.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Put Camnuttzim Safjoppid first in all things.