Bumfittar is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, kind zebra.

Bumfittar created water two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bumfittar, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Bumfittar, it will be mildly annoyed.

Bumfittar's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Bumfittar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat wheat.

2. Run away from fawn snails, for they are unholy.

3. Do not kill sheep.

4. You must never eat bread.

5. Never paint your hands black.