Bemhotgubhiv is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, emotional dugong.

Bemhotgubhiv created viruses nine million years ago.

If you believe in Bemhotgubhiv, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Bemhotgubhiv, it will manifest in front of you.

Bemhotgubhiv's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Bemhotgubhiv's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Always obey Bemhotgubhiv's priests.

3. Never talk about black holes.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Bemhotgubhiv.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.