Gesssanlap Quafyarcan is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, self-confident frog.

Gesssanlap Quafyarcan created humanity four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gesssanlap Quafyarcan, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Gesssanlap Quafyarcan, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Gesssanlap Quafyarcan's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Gesssanlap Quafyarcan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your back.

2. Worship no other gods but Gesssanlap Quafyarcan.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. You must never eat pineapples.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.