Tancemfetsak is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, pitiless monkey.

Tancemfetsak created Asia two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tancemfetsak, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Tancemfetsak, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Tancemfetsak's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Tancemfetsak's Holy Commandments

1. Tancemfetsak must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

4. Never think about asteroids.

5. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.