Xemtenmipnartafmutcit is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, temperamental swallow.

Xemtenmipnartafmutcit created energy two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Xemtenmipnartafmutcit, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Xemtenmipnartafmutcit, he will turn you into a hamster.

Xemtenmipnartafmutcit's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Xemtenmipnartafmutcit's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt porpoises.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Xemtenmipnartafmutcit on top of all buildings.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.