Vanxendut is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, awe-inspiring human.

Vanxendut created water four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vanxendut, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Vanxendut, it will boil you in a big pot.

Vanxendut's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Vanxendut's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat wheat.

2. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

3. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

4. Put Vanxendut first in all things.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.