Dagguptail is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, intelligent human.

Dagguptail created the planet Earth nine million years ago.

If you believe in Dagguptail, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Dagguptail, she will denounce you as a heretic.

Dagguptail's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Dagguptail's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in purple rooms.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.