Fetinghin is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, annoying tapir.

Fetinghin created dark energy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Fetinghin, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Fetinghin, he will boil you in a big pot.

Fetinghin's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Fetinghin's Holy Commandments

1. Always help grasshopers in need.

2. Never think about black holes.

3. Always obey Fetinghin's priests.

4. Never go into turquoise rooms.

5. Erect a large platinum sculpture of Fetinghin on top of all buildings.